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What are some funny and smart quotes?

Last Updated: 23.06.2025 07:02

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

My cantankerous beagle is very badly behaved at the dog park and always starts barking at the other dogs. Would pepper spray be an effective method to correct his inappropriate behavior?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

What is your opinion on the belief that one can change their life by changing their thoughts and having a positive mindset?

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

Will Labour's proposed ambitious targets for housebuilding in England be effective in solving the housing crisis?

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”